So I went to a hyper-religious fundie camp every summer growing up—bible class and hymns all day, group prayer at meals, sermons every night, daily baptisms in the pool, all that kind of thing. When I was thirteen there was a new guest speaker from a Christian college in Tennessee; the theme of the week was sexual purity, and this dude picked five random boys and five random girls-with-long-hair out of the crowd to come up to the front.
'Now, I'm not gonna do any preamble,' he said, 'I'm just gonna ask you boys—without touching their bodies at all—to braid these young ladies’ hair, if they’re happy with that.’ One girl said she was not okay with that, so she went to sit back down and her friend went up instead. Dude said, ‘Good, consent is important. God wants you to be happy, so don’t ever let someone touch you unless you’re real happy about it.’
So these guys tried to braid hair. There was a lot of giggling, and it was mostly a disaster. At the end of the demonstration the girls turned around so the crowd could see the results.
'You can see here we have a lot of sloppy work, except for this feller on the end who sorta held it together. You have sisters, don’t you?’ The boy nodded. ‘Ladies, raise your hand if any of these boys pulled your hair too hard.’ They all raised their hands. ‘And if they touched your neck or shoulders?’ All five girls raised their hands again. ‘My point here, folks, before we get into the heavy moral stuff that I’ve got on my notecards, is that teenage boys are useless with girls. They can’t follow simple instructions. They don’t know how to braid hair, they don’t know how to even talk about periods without being grossed out or crackin’ up, they don’t understand bra sizes. They don’t listen when you say not to touch you, because they don’t understand boundaries, either. Much less complex emotions that don’t originate from their boxer shorts! And that doesn’t change when they’re men, either. Because men, I’m sorry to say, are dang fools. I know because I’m a man, and I never stopped bein’ a fool, but I did learn not to act on it. So remember, girls, if a boy pulls or pushes you where you don’t want to go, if he won’t take time to learn things that are relevant to you, you drop him like a moldy biscuit and never look back.’
He went on to talk about the importance of virginity and a lot of abstinence stuff, but the beginning of that sermon has stuck with me.
More youth education should be like this.
Holy crap. I can’t even imagine…
I wonder — I really wonder — what the currently HORRIFIC stats on the results of abstinence-only education would look like if more of it included stuff like this.
Thank you VERY much for sharing.
- 6 days ago
- 1 week ago
ESPN Films and ESPN W | Nine for IX “Branded” | for saveitlikesolo
I think without question women who aspire to be athletes, who want to play sports, are better off today than they were thirty years ago. I think it really encouraged young girls to go out there and aspire to their dreams and try to reach their goals.
But despite Title IX, women have really gained very little at the professional sports level over time.
It’s a cultural issue. It’s not just a women in sport issue. As a culture we have to look at all of the messages we send out on a daily basis about what we think is important. I think we’ve made a lot of progress. But I think we have a lot of progress to make.
(via saltysalmonella)Source: cypher2
- 2 weeks ago
I was recently doing some stand up at a club. After one of my sets, I walked into the bar where a friend of mine who is a comic and also happens to be a tall and pretty lady was standing with a few other people. They were having an animated discussion.
The guy at the bar – whom I had never met before – looked at me and saw my glasses, my ill fitting clothes, my bad posture, and I guess he saw in me a kindred spirit.
“Here,” he said, “this guy will get it. Dude, don’t you think hot girls have it easiest in the world?”
I answered without thinking. My words vomited up out of me.
“No, not at all,” I said. “Being a hot girl seems awful.”
“No, I’m not kidding,” I said. “Why does it suck to look like you and me? Because hot girls won’t talk to us when we’re dumb teenagers… I’d rather have that then spend my whole life with guys yelling shit at me when I walk down the street. I’d rather be lonely for a few years early on then spend every day getting creeped out by gross dudes staring at my chest when I’m just trying to go to the supermarket to buy some fucking vegetables.”
“Yeah,” he said, “but they get whatever they want all the time.”
“Do they?” I asked. “I’m sure they get into clubs I can’t get into, or get drinks served to them without waiting as long as I have to. But they also get judged for wearing the clothes they wear. Or get pressured for not putting out. Or have to worry constantly, at least a little in the back of their mind, about getting raped.”
The guy just stared at me.
“I don’t know dude,” I said. “Hot girls don’t have it easy.”
My friend who is tall and pretty looked at me and smirked and said, “Good answer.” And we walked away together.
Hot girls don’t have it easy. They don’t have it easy for all those reasons I told that guy, and so many more. But most of all, they don’t have it easy because dummies like that guy look at them and see them as “hot girls” instead of seeing them as “three dimensional human beings.”
And that’s what drives me nuts about “the good guys”.
“I’m a good guy, why don’t hot chicks like me?” Are you really a good guy when you say shit like “hot chicks”?
“I’m a nice guy, girls don’t pay any attention to me.” Are you sure you’re a nice guy? Because if your main concern is getting girls to pay attention to you for how nice you are, it sounds to me like maybe you’re not actually nice and you’re presenting yourself as nice to trick a girl you crave into thinking you’re nice. And that’s not very nice."
- 2 weeks ago
My most popular post has received a lot of arguments lately, so I figured I’d respond to the most common points people bring up.
to get a general gist of Queen Jamillia’s and Oola’s screen time, here are the scripts for Attack of the Clones (Jamillia is in 359 word scene) and Return of the Jedi (Oola is in scenes that add up to 275 words)
We are old enough to know we deserve more.
(via basukerotics)Source: princess-slay-ya
- 2 weeks ago
“We went to Kineshma, that’s in Ivanovo region, to visit his parents. I went as a heroine and I never expected someone to welcome me, a front-line girl, like that. We’ve gone through so much, we’ve saved lives, lifes of mothers, wives. And then… I heard accusations, I was bad-mouthed. Before that I’ve only ever been “dear sister”… We had tea and my husband’s mother took him aside and started crying: “Who did you marry? A front-line girl… You have two younger sisters. Who’s going to marry them now?” When I think back to that moment I feel tears welling up. Imagine: I had a record, I loved it a lot. There was a song, it said: you have the right to wear the best shoes. That was about a front-line girl. I had it playing, and [his?] elder sister came up and broke it apart, saying: you have no rights. They destroyed all my photos from the war… We, front-line girls, went through so much during hte war… and then we had another war. Another terrible war. The men left us, they didn’t cover our backs. Not like at the front.” from С.Алексеевич “У войны не женское лицо”
In Soviet Union women participating in WWII were erased from history, remaining as the occasional anecdote of a female sniper or simply as medical staff or, at best, radio specialists. The word “front-line girl” (frontovichka) became a terrible insult, synonimous to “whore”. Hundreds thousand of girls who went to war to protect their homeland with their very lives, who came back injured or disabled, with medals for valor, had to hide it to protect themselves from public scorn.
This has always happened in history: Women do something important. Then they get shamed for it (so nobody will talk about it) and it gets erased from history.
And then certain men will say: “Women suck, they’ve never done anything important.”
Look into history and learn that women have played a far greater role then douches (present and past) wanted you to know.
Hey Will (and Jack) I got you something.
So this is important. Let me tell you a story.
All the time I spend debating about women in combat, I’ve picked up on a trend that disturbs me. Supporting or attacking, people are quick to draw on biology, psychology, law, but very rarely - almost never - do I hear about the history of women in combat, and the evidence their service lends to this debate.
Hundreds of thousands of women faced combat in WW2, and on both sides, and on all fronts, and it is a history that has been almost completely erased from contemporary awareness. I have been given arguments about how women can not psychologically handle combat. And about how women in mixed-gender combat units will automatically disrupt group cohesion - the brotherhood, if you will. Both of these assertions are erasure.
Women have not lived in a protective bubble untouched by combat for all of history. Women have been killed, wounded, and captured in combat, and tortured after. We are not living a world where these are hypothetical situations women have yet to prove they can handle. Unfortunately, they have, they can, in the future, they probably will, again and again. Soviet women served as partisans, snipers, tank drivers, fighter pilots, bombers. And more.
Both British and American women served in mixed-gender AA units. I could drag you through several examples of British women performing exemplarily despite being wounded, or seeing their comrades die. The Luftwaffe did not discriminate. Between the British and the Americans, it was determined that mixed gender units actually performed much better than all male units, because of teamwork. Because women are better and certain tasks, men are better at certain tasks, and at other tasks they are comparably efficient, and in a team, hopefully, in combat, you let the best do what they are best at. For the most part, they were proud to serve together.
German propaganda never commented on the British AA units, but they thoroughly smeared the Soviet fighting woman - flitenweiber. People often argue with me that women are a threat to group cohesion because men naturally give women preferential treatment. Which certainly explains why men are more likely to survive shipwrecks. And history shows us that Germans soldiers had no chivalrous compunction when it came to shooting captured Soviet women who were armed.
We’re fed a history of war that almost exclusively features white male figures, most of whom fit into this destructive constructed myth of the soldier that is somehow both chivalrous and charmingly womanizing and who’s sense of brotherhood is unshakably dependent on the band being all man. There is no history of woman at war, none. I hear a lot about how women have no upper body strength, I hear nothing about the Front-Line Female Comrade.
THE WORD FRONTOVICHKA BECAME A TERRIBLE INSULT - are you fucking kidding me? Fuck, that made me cry. At first when I started reading I thought I was reading alernate history fiction. I’m ashamed to be ignorant about this, and full of rage and much worse bitter shame that this history is constantly repressed, suppressed, hidden. WHAT THE FUCK. D: D: D:
(via jebiwonkenobi)Source: bukhanka
- 3 weeks ago
Porn for women already exists. It’s called porn.
When we talk about porn, we usually fail to adequately address agency and the complexity of human sexuality. In doing so, we prevent any real progress or sexual liberation across the gendered spectrum. The way we think about porn is wrong, and assigning blame to either men as a group or the porn industry as a whole will foster neither critical conversation nor durable solutions to issues of sexual repression, violence against women and men, or exploitation.
We need to change the conversation.
- 3 weeks ago
The invention of the playboy.
By Lisa Wade, PhD
At that time, a man who stayed single was suspected of homosexuality. The idea of being an unmarried heterosexual adult of sound mind and body was totally foreign. Hugh Hefner changed all of that by inventing a whole new kind of man, the playboy. The playboy stayed single (so as to have lots of ladies), kept his money for himself and his indulgences (booze and ladies), and re-purposed the domestic sphere (enter the snazzy bachelor pad full of booze and ladies).
With this in mind, check out this attempt to attract advertising dollars from a 1969 issue (found at Vintage Ads). It nicely demonstrates Playboy‘s marketing of a new kind of man, one who lives a free and adventurous life that is unburdened by a boring, dead-end job needed to support a wife and kids.
What sort of man reads Playboy? He’s an entertaining young guy happily living the good life. And loving every adventurous minute of it. One recipe for his upbeat life style? Fun friends and fine potables. Facts. PLAYBOY is read by one of out every three men under 50 who drink alcoholic beverages. Small wonder beverage advertisers invest more dollars in PLAYBOY issue per issue than they do in any other magazine. Need your spirit lifted? This must be the place.
Today, we commonly come across the idea that men are naturally adverse to being tied down, but Hefner’s project reveals that this was an idea that was invented quite recently and promulgated for profit.
This post originally appeared in 2008.
(via cimness)Source: socimages
- 3 weeks ago
Joan Jett’s jacket. Notice the pins.
"keep abortion legal"
"If she says no, it’s rape"
"Pro fucking choice"
This jacket is from about thirty years ago. These issues were big then. Thirty years later, these issues are still present. I was amazed to find these pins on the jacket, and realize this, because I would have thought, back then, if I was alive, that those issues would be solved by NOW.
But they aren’t. Joan Jett knew what was up.
Why can’t we take a minute and soak in her “bad reputation” and think about how in thirty years, abortion and rape culture STILL are huge issues.
Photos courtesy of EMP museum in Seattle, Washington.
OMG—-the WAC button is for the Women’s Action Coalition, which I was part of in the *coughcough* well several years ago now.
- 3 weeks ago
so in iron man 2
a little boy in an iron man helmet tries to shoot one of the rampaging suits with his lil toy flight stabilizers
in spider-man 2
a little boy puts on his spiderman suit and stands up against the rhino
that’s great for all the little boys in the theater, but you know what I want?
i want a little girl to help the heroes
i want a six-year old redhead to kick nat’s gun to her
i want a twelve-year old with braces and a lisp to shake cap back to consciousness
i want a nine-year old latina girl to take clint by the hand and walk him down unfamiliar streets back to the main fight
i want a sixteen-year old black girl to kick an enemy in the back of the knees to save sam wilson
because girls are sitting in that audience too
and they deserve to see that
(via damnhistrionics)Source: antoinetriplett
- 4 weeks ago
I posted this on FB. All the likes and positive comments were from women, and the one person to question it was a man. His disbelief was with the “always ask, even for as minor as a kiss.”
Worse, he’s active in the BDSM scene.
Oh my god, a guy I haven’t talked to in two years rolled into the thread and it’s like a freaking white male privilege bingo card.
- 1 month ago
- 1 month ago
- 1 month ago
Amy Merrick on American Apparel founder Dov Charney: http://nyr.kr/1iyVllq
“He is known for walking around in his underwear in front of his employees. His messianic, provocative persona has been a large part of American Apparel’s image; with his often extravagant facial hair and retro clothing, he resembles a character in ‘American Hustle.’”
Photograph by Keith Bedford/Bloomberg via Getty.
- 1 month ago
Also the Vikings were known to be complete dandies. They sought bright colors, jewelry, imported Persian silks. Ribbons. Little mirrors sewn onto clothing, in Sweden. The men had long hair that was scandalous to Christians, and they carried combs and earspoons and such things with them. I recall seeing documents where the eastern Norse were big on baths and one of their demands in a particular negotiation was “we get to have baths drawn for us whenever we want”, which was often.
They used soap with agents designed to bleach hair to try to make themselves blonder.
SRSLY. Look at this stuff.
I’m sorry longhaired prettyboy viking men in gaudy clothing and jewelry, bleaching and combing their hair, doesn’t match with your Conan-the-Barbarian manlyman aesthetic.
…or the fact that a significant portion of the Norse were traders, fishermen, farmers, and herders, and weren’t raiding, pillaging warriors or hired Byzantine thug-bodyguards.
I also like the parts about how maybe women didn’t dress as modestly as some interpretations of the evidence suggest. And, like, putting BIG METAL CLIPS and STRANDS OF BEADS right across the breasts … kind of draws the eyes right there.
beatsandblades considering that you just posted something Viking related - thought you might be interested in this.
Oh my god, I LOVE THIS.
It also should be noted that they had tweezers and ladies used them to shape their eyebrows and keep their faces neat. It should also be noted that they had the most civilized laws toward women pre christian era in europe. Women were allowed to fight, allowed to inherit or acquire wealth, allowed to have bastard children or be raped without it being a mark against their honor and virtue. In fact, if the family of a raped woman wanted justice, they were free to kill the rapist under the law. Women were also free to divorce their husbands.
Viking men also composed POETRY as a sign of their virility and reciting poetry to a woman without her father’s permission was considered unseemly, because that was part of courtship and the young man had to take care that he wasn’t challenged or killed for doing so.
(via artemisiaeleutheria)Source: glegrumbles